Someone new...a playmate, maybe?

We'll there's someone on the horizon that I met on-line last week. A few posts, a few emails and now text. He wants to hear my voice, but I think I'll make him wait...can't give up the goods all at once. Where is the anticipation in that?

Oddly enough, like hubby's girlfriend, he is also 26. He also resembles hubby a little - like I resemble hubby's girlfriend. Weird. :) Why the universe throws these things at you sometimes...are you kidding me?

Could be fun, we'll see what evolves. Next Thursday I will make it a mission to begin HNT. Love this idea.

You don't know, what you don't know...

I am so disappointed. Not only do I find that my husband and his girlfriend are not using safe sex practices as in a condom, but now I am finding out that she is not using birth control either. I know she has had a lot of gyn problems and the chance of her getting pregnant is slim to none. But I also know that she has a 4 year old, and though it took me 3 years I have an 8 year old. My doc even told me told me (after my hysterectomy) that he had no idea how I ever got pregnant - there was so much against it. None the less here were are with two children.

I was supposed to be headed to the movies today with my hubby and son, but found this out as I was getting ready. Chose not to go. I sent them (hubby and g/f, not my son) both a simple, but curt text that I felt it was unsafe, rude and disrespectful. And now am venting my emotions here instead of allowing them to escalate into full out rage - this was my old way and I am trying to change those aspects of myself.

Deep breath...in...out...in...out...

Love and Jealousy

So yesterday I was giving advice on being aware of the strong emotions that can accompany an open marriage. Today I am in the throes of them. I know that love does not have limit, that loving another does not take away from the love that is given to me - in quantity or quality. That the love given to me was here before this other person and will be here long after they have moved on. But through all of that intelligent rational, the heart feels what the heart feels, and today I am hurting knowing my husband is falling in love with another and that love is reciprocated.

It's amazing how easy it is to be okay with sharing your spouse in the physical sense, but once emotions of love enter the picture suddenly like starting all over.

Deep breath. In, out. In, out.

"Jealousy is indeed a poor medium to secure love, but it is a secure medium to destroy one's self-respect. For jealous people, like dope-fiends, stoop to the lowest level and in the end inspire only disgust and loathing."
Emma Goldman

Today is about being other's oriented

Well today was definitely a day to be others oriented. It is no surprise, but my husband's new girlfriend is feeling a bit left out lately. I can only imagine. Even though he has been honest and open with her from day 1, how can you not feel left out when you know he is leaving you to go home to his beautiful wife. She knows he loves and adores me, will never leave me and is not looking for a replacement, but rather an addition.

There are times I wonder if I could do it. I mean there are books, websites, all kinds of things that you can use to get advice on how to have a successful open relationship/marriage, but there is nothing on how to be an addition. I know she respects us and our family and she has proven that time and again. She is very sweet and kind, intuitive and intelligent....I would have her as a girlfriend if he hadn't found her first!!